Dear Duncan Phyfe,

If I could go back in time to the mid 1800s and somehow not have it be weird, I’d totally ask you to build me some furniture. I’m kind of obsessed with this mahogany sofa that you made in…1810(?). If the Metropolitan Museum of Art wouldn’t have me arrested, I’d sprawl right out. I don’t care if people think that you’ve been given too much hype and couldn’t possibly have created as many pieces as you get credit for. Haters to the left.  Just wanted to let you know that.

Your Admirer,

Jillian